okay. i thought i'd post this, it's mildly amusing...
there is a story on FFN in the "phantom of the opera" section. in the summary, i quote, the author says the following: "NC-17 for future chapters. Slash. I AM NOT SLASHING ERIK!!!!!! Christine's son finds what he's looking for in the Opera House when a stranger confronts him."
see? 'kittenmalfoy' is not slashing erik. i have read it. he's not lying. there is no slashing of erik in any form, considering it's set, um, after his death in the susan kay novel... so. here we have the first two reviews (anonymity has been kept to protect the guilty, although god knows why...)
"Enjoyed? I am easily the harsh one in the poto section, but listen here: I see every other damn fandom get bastardized by slash totally f*cking up the character, but PotO is a whole different ball game! If you even HINT to Erik as a seventy year old man getting the hots for some little ditz zygote, I'm not going to be the only one seeking to hunt you down and roast your genitals on a stick. I speak for us all: Do not even THINK about it. slash. pah- do NOT bastardize Erik."
"No, DAMMIT! NOOOOOOOO! POTO-Slash is MY bag! Back off you insensitive.... *sniff* Even then, I only write for humor... Jesus God the man is STRAIGHT! No man who stalks a soprano for month is suddenly going to decide to swim both ways. ESPECIALLY not in the 1800s. So, why don't you just delete this and WWAD will decide to forgive you. :) 'K? Or else.... MST! Bwahahahaha!"
and yet again:
"Oh HELL no,you slash Erik and I slash you (with a weenie roaster or a bazooka,your choice) For God's sake,ERIK?!? GAY?!?! that is just WRONG!! Dont even THINK about it,save the slash for other sections,where slash actually would MAKE SENSE and where the fans arent so adament about protecting they're beloved characters mmkay?
That is all I have to say on the matter,
right. so. the first three reviews. they had plainly not read the story and simply gone straight in and flamed it. now, on to kat tharp, who is well known around this section for yelling at flamers...
"Oh, for God's sake. What does this poor author have to do to make you morons understand that she is not slashing Erik? Singe and Mytotimon (or whatever you call yourself) fair enough, but [flamer] posted her review after the author had psted in the summary in capital letters I AM NOT SLASHING ERIK! What do we have to do to keep this section friendly? If you don't like the story - don't review. If you can't say something nice, then keep quiet."
quite. you'd think this would be enough, wouldn't you? but no. alas, it continues yet more, with the addition of adrienne's little rant...
"1.) To the author: this seems to be going along fairly nicely, although there are some sentences that read awkwardly. Have you a beta? Also, these seem to both be original characters-- this isn't slash, this is fanfiction with gay/lesbian content.
2.) To my fellow reviewers: Oh, for Pete's sake. You would think that if an allcaps disclaimer didn't give you a hint that, no indeed, Erik would not be among those slashed in this story, the descriptions of the boy Christine's kid is after would: "He's very femininely built and his features are those of an innocent child. The man's truly beautiful" would-- does this sound like Erik to you? Or did you just not read far enough-- this story is about a page long, come ON, people, laziness! to notice that part? And then there's the homophobia. Most slash stories get at least a couple "o u suck that is sick and wrong!" reviews, but-- [first reviewer]? MUTILATION THREATS? Man, I really expected better of you. All of you; grow up."
and, the author did thank this reviewer and kat tharp for trying to help. however...
"Alright first off let me say this :
I am not a homophobe. I personally find anything racist in any form to be wrong,and yah call me a hypocrite but I dont believe in homosexuality. But I dont like go out and bash gay people over the head with rocks.
As for the story itself,it's ok. Slash isnt really my thing,but your writing style is pretty good,my only suggestion is you watch the spelling,but thats not really a big deal cuz Im guilty of that to. *grinz*
Anywhoze,I usually *dont* get involved in review 'wars' but I gotta tellya,Kat Tharp? Adrienne? Both of you can piss off. I mean,what the heck is your issue? Your trying to tell people *not* to review a story if they dont like it? I mean is that not the whole point of fanfictionet? To express ALL of our ideas freely? If I happen to NOT like a story then I WILL review it however the hell I want and if you guys cant deal with it then maybe you should be the ones not reviewing.
To the author: I do however apologize for my last review (not something I do often so dont get used to it!),I get a little *cough* over enthusiastic in my reviews sometimes,but hey can ya blame me? I thought you were going to slash my snookums! *huggles Erik protectively* Anyway,hope this kinda helps you out a bit,if it doesnt sorry.
anyone who spells it "grinz" worries me intensely. but i digress. on we go...
this, from adrienne again...
"[name of previous reviewer]? I didn't object to the fact that you gave the story a negative review, I objected to the fact that you had very obviously not read the story before you gave it a very negative review(verging on a flame)-- that not only had very little to do with the actual story in question (which, again, you hadn't even read) but which also threatened the author with physical violence. I find this behavior to be both immature and reprehensible. Of course I don't think you shoudn't post negative reviews; my point that it's ridiculous to post reviews-- especially flames-- when you haven't even read what you're reviewing, and that those who do so deserve to be called on it. ."
you see, yet again, someone attempts to stop the bickering before it gets out of hand...
new reviewer: same old story...
"first of all-
you said if you don't like the story, then don't review. Well, what's the point of reviews? Reviews can be good or bad. A review is someone's OPINION of the story, whether they like it or not. Get the facts straight!
To the Author:
I have seen every other story mutilated by fanfics like yours! DO NOT take this beautiful story and turn it into something cheap and trashy!
PTO is sacred to its fans and just knowing a fanfic like yours exists makes me sick!
DELETE IT AND DELETE IT NOW BEFORE AN ANGRY MOB OF PHANTOM PHANS DECIDE TO HUNT YOU DOWN!!!
Now, I bet your all thinking, "prima donna, if you don't like these kind of fics, don't read them"
Well, just because I don't like something, doesn't mean that I can't give it a review! I can read and review however I like and if you don't like it, too bad!
I'm sure I speak for all REAL phantom phans when I say, DELETE THIS STORY!!!
(I know you're not slashing Erik, but stil...)Poor, poor Erik in the hands of your twisted imagination!!"
*sigh* still with me? i hope so. this saga is remarkably amusing, when you think about it... right. kat tharp again, who is gaining quite a nice hate club against her every time she reviews... (although, admittedly, she did report an MST fic to FFN staff and got it removed, which was a tad out of line...)
"My apologies to the author - I had intended not to use any more review boards as message boards, but I am extremely angry at the childish and immature review left by "[name of previous reviewer]", and I consider it my right to air my opinions as well as hers.
My objection to the earlier reviews was not that they didn't like the story. It was that the flamers plainly had not taken the time to read the story, or they would have realised that the description of the man as being "truly beautiful" was hardly compatible with Erik. As if the capitals disclaimer wasn't enough ... Their opinion was not of the story, but of a childish homophobic prejudice they had been fostering; immature, childish, and unnecessary, in my opinion.
And you accuse the author of cheapening the story of Erik anjd Christine - did it never occur to you that perhaps you ignorant people leaving such unnecessary reviews cheapens it even further? And - had you troubled to actually read the story, which you plainly had not (at least you flamers are consistent), you would have realised that the story does not include either Erik or Christine.
And as for the death threats and the order to remove the story? If you can air your opinion, so can Kitten Malfoy - at least the author makes some attempt at originality and creative thought as opposed to a blind and ignorant flame, in the manner of yours.
Do feel free to email me if you disagree with anything I have said."
now it starts getting interesting. reviewer prior to kat tharp then says:
"First of all, I am not homophobic. I believe it is okay for people to live out their lives as they please. What I am not okay with is people taking classic stories and turning them into trash. And, yes, we are all aloud to express our opinions, but this story is not an opinion. It is someone's twisted take on a beautiful novel. I know the author is not slashing Erik but just the thought of this story being related to PTO in any way makes me sick.
I am also sorry for my earlier review. I meant every word I said, but I should have said it a little more nicer, but I was REALLY upset about this fanfic. I still am.
This is my OPINION, you should definitely delete this story.
As a TRUE phantom phan, unlike certain other reviewers, I can't believe someone would do this to this story.
And, yes, Kat Tharp, I disagree with EVERYTHING you said. EVERYTHING. You obviously have no sense of reality."
grammar and spelling errors aside... lo, here cometh the bickering...
"Kat Tharp-may I ask what the hell has crawled up your ass and died?? You seem to be under the impression that if anyone doesnt share your opinions then there opinions are wrong,which in my opinon (hah)means that you should be the one NOT posting reviews or anything on this site,get a LIFE for God's sake,I totally agree with [name omitted, previous reviewer],POWER TO PHANS!! WOOCHA!!
To the author-sorry for using your review space as a message board,but Kat Tharp really cheesed me off..so sorry *grinz*
Im out like a hot tamale!!
"Ehhhhhheheheheeee! This is no review board, it's a message board. FF.N WE NEED THE MESSAGE BOARDS BACK!
Hey [names omitted]! You should join the WWAD and we'll add another acronym to it- WWAKT. if you know that WWA means "Worthier Women Against", do I need to tell what the KT is? Might as well. Mme. Tharp? Die. You are just the rotting skunk on the side of the road here."
(for the uniniated, WWAD is "worthier women against the ditz", of which i am not a member... the ditz = christine. despite this, they all seem to like erik/christine shipper fics... i am a POTPAFOP - "phriends of the phantom against the fop", the fop being raoul. okay, that's boring, just thought i'd explain...)
again, i shall make no comment on the SPG errors in this... right. ms tharp again. now it starts getting interestng. we're halfway through, keep with it...
"Thank you all for the kind comments. :) May I just make one request? If you must personally abuse me - which I have no objection to, it gives me something to laugh at in between Blackadder and Fawlty Towers, but please do a spelling and grammar check? Some of my favourites so far are; "then there opinions are wrong" (their, not there) "we are all aloud to express our opinions" (allowed, not aloud) "I should have said it a little more nicer" (nicely, not nicer) "I bet your all thinking" (you're, not your), and please, abuse me personally, to my email account, as opposed to wasting ff.n space and this poor author's review board.
(Oh, and if you're all permitted to slag me off, I think I may just make one very small point - Erik is your "snookums", is he? *snort of laughter* Forgive me if that image brings tears of laughter to my eyes.)"
she makes a valid point. erik wouldn't be anybody's 'snookums'. *snort* pity she doesn't have a livejournal, she'd be a worthy member of 'peevish'...
okay, next person actually reviewed. what a concept... however...
"Hrm, well...decent writing, intriguing storyline...not bad at all. I can't believe there's been such a hullabaloo over this... Now please forgive me, KittenMalfoy, but I'd like to add my two cents: I've seen a lot of bad slash (tasteless, graphic smut with horrible grammar and spelling), but I've read some delightful fluff as well. I have no qualms with either original characters or homosexual pairings, and I'm somewhat unhappy with the behavior of the phans (Come now - "true" POTO phans? You'll find that "true" phans disagree all the time...how can that be? If they're all "true" phans of POTO.) Now, I don't think slashing Erik is a good idea, nor do I believe it can be done convincingly enough to make a good fic...but this doesn't have anything to do with slashing Erik! Ye Gods! I must agree with Kat and Adrienne on this one..."
this next one, i wanted to slap the person for, and rightly so...
"Thank you Kat Tharp for that wonderful spell check. I must assume [other flamer/reviewer/arguer] and I have made good arguments as that is the only thing you can find wrong with our messages. However, while we are on the subject of grammer mistakes, I must add my favorite to the list. "Please do a spelling and a grammer check?(obviously that should be ended with a period not a question mark)" Also, I do love your style of typing, "Do feel free to email me if you disagree with anything I have said." You must be one of those who speak with a phony British accent in public. You have requested that we email you with comments instead of using this "poor" author's message board. Perhaps we do not wish to email you, we prefer to have you make a fool of yourself in front of others than just through priviate emails.I might also add that this "poor" author is the one that wrote this horrible fic and I cannot possibly bring myself to sympathize with her and her "agony" over us using her review board as a message board. She's probably laughing over this and your sorry attempts at arguing a lost cause (I know I am). Face it, there are millions of phans that would agree with our side over yours. Deal with it. As for the comment on "true" phans, a true phan holds the Phantom of the Opera dear to their heart and would never, ever allow the story to be cheapened by stories like this.
I rest my case.
If anyone, anyone at all, agrees or disagrees with me, DO feel free to post it here or email me.
*yes, mocking of Kat Tharp's typing style was intended here*"
phony british accent, eh? she naturally assumes all people on FFN are american, apparently. and hence kat tharp's delightful retort, which i'm rather proud of her for :)
"Phony British accent? If you say so ... I actually happen to be British, and if my accent is something you can find fault with then bring it on! At least I can speak and type my own language with the sort of dexterity which erases the childish errors you and your cohorts are making.
I don't intend to post another review here, as ff.n removed the message boards a long time ago and I don't fancy making it acceptable to use review boards as message boards; I will doubtless end up breaking that resolution when one of you makes another juvenile and offensive remark which is probably inaccurate as you are *still* not bothering to read the story, and yet are flaming it. But let's be honest - the flames aren't really directed at the story anymore, are they? Since the author has proved stronger than most and has ignored your pathetic attempts to make him remove his story, you have instead fallen back on insulting me. And don't get me wrong - I find it intensely amusing. But it is irrelevant to the fic, and it would certainly be more appropriate to settle your grievances elsewhere.
(Oh, and just one last thing I forgot to mention earlier - please do make your little club for all those who hate me! Some of us gave up belonging to hate gangs when we were about fifteen. Guess you're all just slow developers.)"
the next review was boring, so i'll leave it out. it was a review, and basically saying the author has a right to do what he wants, and that he should continue.
now. i've been reading this 'message' board (which it isn't, it's a review board. they did, as kat says, take the message boards down when FFN had the big crash a few months back, and they haven't rebuilt them yet...) since about 2.00 (it's now 2.50) and i just had to say something. i read the fic, too :) so... my review. enjoy.
"Before I start, I'd like to say - this IS a review. If, however, you have given up on reading them for fear of yet more debating, I wouldn't blame you, but just in case you DO read them still, here's my review:
This is good. You have given ample warning that it's slash, you have quite obviously said you are not slashing Erik, and you are handling the complaints you're receiving a lot better than I would (and probably a lot better than half of the complainers would, as well...) The plot is building nicely, you have a firm grasp of your own characters, the history behind them, and, (the most important thing in my book) the basics of spelling, punctuation, and grammar. There is nothing worse than something that's so badly written it's unreadable... I, for one, would be interested in reading more.
Now. KittenMalfoy, you may ignore this part. It's my tuppenth's worth in the 'debate', which is really turning more into stupid arguing than anything else. Kat Tharp - I am also British, therefore we must both speak with the same "stupid accent", or whatever it was you were accused of. (I'm not quoting verbatim because, quite frankly, I don't want to.)
Anyway, I digress, the point I really wanted to make was this: I recall something very similar happening in the reviews for the last NC-fic that was in the POTO section, that is, a huge, insult-flinging swearing match that was pretending to be a 'debate', just as this is turning into. Now, forgive me for *trying* to be diplomatic... but if this continues, someone is going to complain to FFN staff, and they may well remove the entire damn section. I know none of us want this to happen (myself included, since I have 4 works of my own posted here), so, please, for the sake of the rest of us, *stop bloody bickering*! It's not funny, it's not mature, and it's not even remotely the point of the review board...
Oh yes. And another thing. I'm one of those readers who will check the reviews a thing gets before I read it, mainly so I know what I'm letting myself in for. Thanks to you lot, I've put off reading this very good fic simply because of the amount of arguing going on in the reviews... (and for that, I apologise to the author. I now realise my mistake in ignoring this for so long.)
Thank you. Over and out.
KittenMalfoy - more review - you are very brave to keep this up considering the initial response to it. I would have deleted the reviews, myself... but anyway, keep writing, and I hope you put more up soon.
(PS: I proof-read this review twice. If *anyone* even *dares* to try and correct my grammar, I will personally tear apart their own attempts... if there's one thing I'm sure of, it's SPG.)"
the longest of the lot. the rant-queen lives again. i should SO become a diplomat. (naomi, you are entitled to help me tear apart anyone's attempts at correcting me. i know you like it, too... :D)
right. if you've lived through this completely pointless entry, i commend thee. have a cookie :) talking of which, i'm absolutely starving. will get food, then will wait and see what the reaction is to my post :D