February 14th, 2003

Photo - leaves

first sign of madness, don't you know...

i know it's time for bed when i start talking to myself...

but before i do, upon re-reading "tango up on sunset" (after a long period of not reading it and going alternately "when did i write that bit" or "okay, faith/jeremy has read this. eep.") i have decided...

~ that i must really try to get control over all of the following personality flaws:
i. my fix-it complex (most of my farscape fics, "cradle" and TUOS being direct results of same)
ii. my tortured soul complex (for which i blame naomi entirely.)
iii. my tortured heart complex (entirely my own in the making)
iv. my fictional character complex (the falling for thereof)
v. my bad idea complex (self-explanatory if you know TUOS' history...)
vi. my gay man complex (i mean in general. it's really very annoying.)

~ that i must really stop:
i. torturing joe, both mentally and physically. it's no wonder my joeMuse ran away when i actually needed him for "changes". i really do torture the poor guy far too much. i mean, okay, so far i've resurrected him with injuries, made him guilty enough to forgive norma, had him fall in love with her and not be able to tell her, made him have to deal with betty's rogue emotions, had him argue with norma to the point of walking out, had him get blind drunk and angsty in the aftermath of said argument, had him inherit nearly all of her paranoia (hardly surprising) - and then, even when he finally gets a happy ending, i've made him arachnophobic, scared of high places, useless at french; i've managed to kill off his mother, give him a step daughter he didn't know about... yup, really gotta stop torturing him...*
ii. torturing norma. although i do that to a lesser degree, and it's usually to torture joe in the process...
iii. torturing max with various things to make him exasperated, including being allergic to dalmatians (don't ask), no matter how amusing it is.
iv. writing hideously fluffy things just for the hell of it. for everything, not just sunset... although i'll let myself off for the latest one as it's valentine's day :P
v. unrelated, but - going to bed at ungodly hours. it is no longer funny when i crash and burn in the middle of the week from sleeping at bizarre times. short of becoming nocturnal and sleeping in the afternoons, however...

also, i realised that no matter how much fun it is writing post-TUOS (the epic, not the standalone...) norma/joe fluff, it's a hell of a lot more fun writing him falling in love with her, especially when he's trying not to. hence why i had such fun with "changes", the entire theme of which was basically "i want to love her but i can't", and that's essentially what the cast gave me to play with, so blame them :P

okay, i'm going to bed. this was pointless :)

* don't get me wrong. i love joe. i really do. he's probably one of my all-time favourite characters. it's just so easy to make him suffer, that's all. now matter how much i love him, i love messing with his head a whole lot more...