July 20th, 2003

Photo - leaves


well, i nearly got out of going to my father's today, but figured it would be a change of scenery if nothing else, and went anyway. it was relatively uneventful, really. he showed me pictures of america (thank you very much...) most of which were of scenery. there were a couple of times square (although not of any interesting billboards) and some of the washington monument and the white house, but the rest were just hills. and not even good photos. the man has no eye for placement...

i got simpered over by my grandmother. her theory on plaster casting is that they only put them on "to keep you quiet"... um. right. other than that, it was bearable...

oh, yeah, apart from the stench of rotting meat that was permeating the entire house. no, i don't know why. we think something died in the chimney. whatever, it smelt foul and was only drowned out by the air freshener after an hour... it's nearly enough to turn me veggie. nearly.

all that aside, i dug out something very silly that i want to share. back in year 11 or thereabouts, when science fiction club was run by Cheryl, Our Friendly Neighbourhood Sixth Former, and we were still showing non-stop episodes of the x-files (and i was unhealthily obsessed) she did a competition to win a poster, and a copy of one of the books. the poster in question was a very large, portrait-orientated one, with half of david duchovny's face and half of gillian anderson's, on either side of it. chris carter has the same poster in his office. naturally, i had to have it.

the competition was to write x-files limericks, the best winning the poster and book. a week later, and here i quote cheryl, "we had 15 entries. all from the same person."

yes. that would be me. i gave her a selection of limericks and random x-related poetry, and won; i gave the book to jennifer since i already had it, and took my poster home on the bus, triumphant. so, i managed to dig out a piece of paper today with some of them on. it's not all of them (cheryl still has them), but it's the better ones. enjoy :D

Ode to Cheryl
Cheryl, you are brilliant!
Cheryl, you are great!
Please give me your poster,
Cos you're my bestest mate!

(apparently, when i asked her about it, she "was touched". aw. we loved cheryl... she's probably a Proper Lawyer now.)

Gilly A. has left Clyde Klotz,
She used to love him lots and lots
But now she'll save
Her love for Dave.
For him, she's got the hots
(We hope)

(this was written during about season 3 or thereabouts, after gillian anderson had divorced her husband, clyde klotz. also, obviously, pre-téa leoni. we were insatiable shippers... oh, look, it rhymed, okay?)

Monsters, mutants, government sneaks,
Aliens, worms in icy peaks,
But one X-File
That raised a smile
Was about some circus freaks.

(humbug was just a frelling fantastic episode.)

Fearful Symmetry
"Tyger, tyger, burning bright,
In the forests of the night..."
Now we know
He's a UFO,
Waiting to take flight.

(yeah, that one sucks. another example of it rhyming and sounding good...)

There was a young man from Vancouver
Whose hero was J. Edgar Hoover;
Sam knows you can fly,
High up in the sky,
Since the aliens came to remove 'er.

(tee hee. okay, i know he's not from vancouver. 'martha's vineyard' didn't rhyme...)

There was a young man who could seize
Any chimney, and get down it with ease.
His victims he'd kill
(Once, at Powhatan Mill)
And one thing he could do was squeeeeeze...

(incidentally, i watched squeeze again the other night. it was the first and only episode to scare the heck out of me, and i remember why. those frelling terrifying yellow eyes...)

The Truth Is Out There, so they say.
Mulder'll find out where, some day.

Bad At Limericks
The X-Files is a programme,
It's shown 'most everywhere
And I'm not very good
At this
Rhyming Thing
Am I?

And finally...
So now my rhyming's finished,
And, as you can see,
I've put in so much effort,
You really should pick me!

hehe. not surprising i won, really, is it?

right, i think that's everything. going back to the fracture clinic tomorrow to (hopefully) get this bloody cast changed for a lighter one. i presume they want to re-x-ray me... i'll keep you posted.