March 14th, 2004

Photo - leaves

hormones are evil.

especially mine.  kindly ignore last night's horrible venting session; the only good thing to come out of it is the fact that i'm now feeling much better.  i didn't want to go to work tonight; i was practically losing the will to live this afternoon.  but i dragged myself out of the flat, nonetheless.

i was listening to alanis mourissette's jagged little pill on the walk to the bus stop.  on the bus journey itself, i was listening to 'hand in my pocket'... and suddenly, listening the lyrics, i felt so much better.  so i rewound and listened again.  and then i realised how very, very apt they are.

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and, true, it's not 100% accurate, but most of it is so close to how i'm feeling right now, and as the song progressed, i realised that, despite everything, i'm still optimistic.  which meant that by the time i got to work, i was still tired, but could at least be a pleasant individual (and it was so busy anyway, i didn't have much choice.  plus we had a random flashing drunken lady in the lounge to provide half an hour of amusement at the end of the night; we'd bar her, but she's a regualr...)  so, thank you, alanis, for making me realise that the problems i'm facing aren't insurmountable.  and thank you, naomi, for putting it on tape for me.  and thank you, everyone, for graciously ignoring the post and, therefore, not making me feel even worse about posting it.  i'm tempted to delete it, but i should leave it there for posterity...

i'm now on a huge alanis kick, so may have to go and buy a couple of albums, tomorrow.  i spent today doing nothing, so tomorrow i must make up for it by doing some work, and some laundry, and going shopping to buy random pointlessness, and watching eastenders, because, dammit, it's not worth worrying about.

thank you and good night.