September 16th, 2007

Christine - pity


Note to self (again): do not forget to take anti-baby pills for two days in a row. The result is unpleasant.

The last time I did this, I was horribly paranoid and down for the duration of the second day until I realised what I'd done. This time, I was just apparently very highly-strung (and also paranoid, though not so much that I actually realised) and burst into tears yesterday not once, but twice. Luckily only one of those times was in the presence of other people, and the second one I can't even explain. Brain = weird.


I kind of appreciate that the pills control my hormones to such a degree that I fit into the scale of normal human emotion, but honestly, I don't want to end up dependent on having to take them in order to function on a daily basis. At some point I want to, you know, have children, and will have to stop taking them, and yeah. It's not a particularly nice concept. It's also annoying because I thought I'd got better on my own, but I now realise that January 2006 just about coincided with a month after I started taking them...

I have lots of stuff I want to say to lots of people, but inevitably, I won't. Half of them won't read it, and the half that will probably won't want to once they start. As much as the stuff needs to be out in the open, it's probably best left buried. I'm just so tired of trying...
  • Current Mood
    tired tired