February 20th, 2008

SB - Max - Oy


So, yeah, last night was interesting, to say the least...

As ever, things gang up on me and then one other unrelated thing kicks me over the edge. End result: I take it out on Paul, which was horribly unfair given his own circumstances right now, and yeah. I am an emotional retard and should just... STFU, or something. Not over-react. Whatever. Just be glad I wasn't online last night or there would be an entry consisting of my brain's diarrhoea. I was so tired afterwards I didn't even pick up my diary either, but to be honest I'd already spent most of my useful emotion into bawling like a small child, so it wouldn't have been any more coherent.

ANYWAY. I'll be glad when things blow over and we can carry on as normal. Stop being rubbish, 2008. I warned you once already. *shakey fist*

As a result, I am tired today and looking forward to Kiwi's drinks a lot less than I should be... which is a shame, but hopefully we won't be out for too long. I seem to be regaining some semblance of enjoyment for things I should be enjoying, rather than cold dread, which bodes well for actually enjoying them when they roll around, instead of sitting there feeling nothing at all. Despite bemoaning last night that I am still partially crazy and it keeps rolling around every now and then to remind me of that fact, things are so much better than they were. I was starting to reach a point of being positively hermit-like, but yeah, actually, people aren't that bad. Not really. They're just hard work sometimes, and mostly I don't have the patience or inclination or whatever to make the effort required. I'm trying. I'm getting better. If the crazy could just leave me alone, it would really make things easier. Also, if the bloody paranoia could just bugger off now, that would be nice.

On the other side of things, at least David has a job now, starting on 3rd March, so less for my mum to worry about and hence less for me to worry about, too. (Aside from his daughter's issues, but that's a different water-boiling article of piscine things).

Team meeting earlier was unproductive, but at least we now know about the PLO stuff, which is good as we will inevitably end up typing things for it. At least there were no arguments this time. I am very hungry and will go on lunch in half an hour. Yes. Today is a tuna baguette day, I think.