August 5th, 2008

Retro - coffee

I has a haircut...

My hair = FAIL.

My hair thinks: "Gravity FTW!"

My hair says: "Products: DO NOT WANT."

Styling? "YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG."

STUPID HAIR IS STUPID.

You get the idea.

I've tried product after product after product all to no avail. Supercuts-Derek used wax AND hairspray to attempt to hold the style, and it had succumbed to gravity within five minutes. I've tried "wonder wax" (which made it feel disgusting) and Bed Head texturising paste (which added texture but no structure) and out-of-bed fibre putty (did nothing) and this morning even L'Oreal 'indestructible' gel. Which my hair, of course, destructed.

The gel has worked best of everything, but apparently I need a whole tube to get it to work, if this morning is anything to go by.

But of course, as soon as I sleep on it a little weird, it gets a kink in it the size of the frelling Eiffel Tower which no amount of water, gel, wax or flattening will tame. The hair, it doth mock me.

Someone needs to invent permanent hair thinning. NOW.

The only thing which works is hair straighteners, which doesn't do me much good when it's this short other than to sort my fringe out. Apparently even my uber-barnet of hairy dooooom cannot repel 200-degree ceramic. Take THAT, you evil mass of dead skin cells! Ha!

Srsly. This is getting a little boring now. I mean, what else can I do, short of hanging upside down until the product sets?

*sulks*
  • Current Mood
    silly (yet also frustrated)
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