May 7th, 2019

Photo - leaves

Welcome to my Pain Spiral

More Game of Thrones brain-splurging, sorry. It's been a very long time since I was this consumed by a fandom, and I'm pretty sure it wasn't when I was working full-time in a job where I actually had to function vaguely like a human being. At this point I have zero sleep behind me and absolutely zero chill.

Actually, Paul and I had a very entertainment-filled weekend, with a last-minute viewing of Captain Marvel on Saturday and then Avengers: Endgame on Sunday, right in time for the "official" spoiler ban being lifted. If I was not quite so completely stuck in GoT-mode I might actually have things to say about Endgame, though I really don't consider myself a full-on Marvel fan and I've only seen most of the films once (with the exception of Iron Man which I think I've seen twice), and some of the more recent ones not at all, so some elements of canon passed me by. That did not detract from my enjoyment of the film whatsoever, it should be said, and I'm honestly loving the fact that both of these franchises (Marvel, Avengers specifically, and GoT) are ending after 10 years. It feels like a big pop culture event; and if GoT can pull a finale out of the bag which is anywhere near as good as its third episode of this season, I'll be happy. As we all know, there is nothing worse than a good show being ruined by a bad ending (I'm looking at YOU, Voyager.)

Anyway, after that, as it was a bank holiday, I decided to record GoT at 2.00am (the US synchronised showing) and watch it earlier in the day in the hopes that I would have more time to process it. HAHAHAHA nope. Instead, what actually happened was I spent the next seven hours scrolling Tumblr and reading fanfic and plunged myself headlong into an irrevocable pain spiral, and started writing another fic because WHY NOT. I'm enjoying the sudden word-storm, believe me (16,000 words in two weeks, whaaaat??), but it's taken me completely by surprise. And I'm not as proficient as I used to be at this writing lark, so all these people bashing out perfectly-formed stories in a matter of HOURS are leaving me in awe.

As it stands, there are two episodes to go and I've booked the Tuesday off after the finale, because I am not going to be able to function otherwise. Last week's episode utterly broke me and this week's... well, it'll be below the cut.

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I think that was everything I wanted to say. I'm still dreading what's going to happen in the next two weeks, and I've booked the day off work after the finale because I know full well I will be an absolute MESS regardless of what happens. Not sure a day will be long enough to recover, TBQH, but it's better than nothing.

Tune in, same time next week, for more incoherent flail!