I have something of a soft spot for Yammish, being a Yammer born and bred despite not having the accent, so Mr Solomon's weekly articles are really quite adorable, as well as appealing to my inner phonetics geek.
So, here's this week's. Translation provided on request. ;)
Ado, aer kid. This wick I thought it wuz time ter get the 'istory cap on agen.
Now a faermous, proper Black Country town, is of course Wednesfield, but yer see, year agoo that would probably 'ave bin Wodensfield, naermed after the ode Vikin' god, Woden.
Now some people say as tharray so, but it's gorra be, ay it? Common sense tells yer that. Un all yow schoolkids frum thar area as follows me column, just goo an 'ave a look at whar it sez on the gaertes in the park.
In fact, thinkin' abaert it, a lorra them Wednesfield folk 'ave got the look of the Vikin's abaert 'em, as well. Yer know, very 'andsome, fair-yedded, yet they'd soon sort yer out if yer crossed 'em. Un I should know cuz I wuz born in Wednesfield.
But another thing they wuz really faermous for all over the waerld, wuz mekkin' all sort of traps. In fact they 'ad a reputation fer mekkin' some of the very finest, un I ay ob abaert the sort ter ketch mice in, neither.
Every animal yow could imagine would 'ave a trap med ter ketch it - even things like lions - but I suppose moost of the traps they med would 'ave bin ter ketch rabbits, 'ares, foxes un all sorts of similar creatures, which we all think am very nice but of course would 'ave bin the bane of the ode gaermekeeper's life on all the country estates up un daern the country.
Un if yow want ter research this, I venture ter say yow'll find as a very large percentage of any of these contraptions yer see 'angin' up as examples of yesteryear in some of the big 'ouses wuz made in Wednesfield, un might even be stamped with the naerme.
Course, I suppose terday there ay the saerme need fer such awful things as some on 'em wuz then. I wuz once showed an 'orrible thing in America, a great big back-breaker of a thing with massive teeth on it, un do yow know whar it wuz used for? It wuz a mon-trap, un although I cor be certain, I should think we even med them in Wednesfield at one time, cuz if a trap 'ad ter be of the very 'ighest quality, Wednesfield wuz wheere it generally come from.
In mooer recent years, I suppose the town 'as become well-known (alongside its close neighbour, Willenhall), fer mekkin' locks as a lor of yer wull known, un' probably 'ave waerked at plaerces such as the Yale, un' lots of other smaller plaerces.
So theere yer goo, that's what Wednesfield wuz faermous for.
Also, at one time, it would 'ave 'ad a very traditional little market wheere yow could 'ave bought anythin' frum a sheep's 'ead to a spool of cotton, un in fact, it still 'as a very nice market ter this day.
But next time yow visit theere, yow want ter watch out fer two things - Vikin's, traps as might be set fer yer, un things ter lock yer up with!
Tarra a bit, aer kid, un I'll be back next wick ter tell yer a few mooer musin's.
'Sbrilliant, isn't it? :D
In other news, Eni sent me a goldfish through the post. How's that for random...