12oz rolled oats
4oz castor sugar
large bar of dairy milk.
melt butter and sugar. contrary to belief, do NOT melt together as this results in crystallisation of said sugar. melt butter FIRST. add sugar. stir. then remember you were meant to have already measured out oats.
put butter-sugar (preferably non-caramelised) mixture on very low heat to stop it solidifying. measure out half of oats. (this is all that will fit in scales) keep one eye on saucepan and stir when it tries to boil itself.
stir in half of oats. measure other half, keeping eye on mixture as before.
when stirred, remember you were supposed to have left oven to heat. figure that it doesn't matter since oven is an instant inferno.
spread into tray evenly. scrape excess of back of spoon and pat down, thus recoating spoon. give up and scrape onto side of tray. cook. preferably gas mark 4 for 20 minutes. gas mark anything until brown works well too.
start on second batch in similar manner. put into other tray, take first batch out of oven and leave to cool.
put chunks of dairy milk into plastic food bag. boil kettle. put bag in jug and surround by boiling water. keep checking tray in oven.
wait for chocolate to melt.
find original tray. realise it's actually now impossible to remove chocolate from bag. wonder how it worked before. shrug nonchalantly. look for palette knife, be unsuccessful, settle for butter knife.
start to squeeze chocolate onto top of biscuits. get most of it on self and counter. spread thinly as far as it'll go towards edges.
stick in fridge to cool off.
remember other tray in oven. remove. leave to cool. realise there isn't enough chocolate for this one as well. curse. shrug. wait for it to cool.
get bored. cut up. watch the biscuits crumble...
go to type this up on livejournal while the chocolate cools...