1)Was 2005 a good year for you?
In places, yes. In other places, no.
2) What was your favourite moment of the year?
Hmmm... London in January was cool (and I realise, I still haven't shared the photographs of that...) and visiting Eni in Manchester in February for teH Weekend of Ultimate Gayness and the mocha crawl and the randomness and the insanity. Also the Swircle, before it became deceased. Getting VIP tickets to Most Haunted Live through my own fangirling antics. Meeting Paul. Bursting into tears as the fanfare played in Phantom, because it was just such an amazing, indescribable moment.
3) What was your least favourite moment of the year?
All the random arguing, through my own annoying hormonal angst. The forum bannage and subsequent stresses. Etc.
4) Where were you when 2005 began?
At my house, in my living room, with frightened, last_dance and translucent, watching Pirates of the Caribbean and The Secret Life of Sherlock Holmes and giggling at the slash whilst drinking red wine and eating random party food...
5) Who were you with?
6) Where will you be when 2005 ends?
Probably the same, with the addition of yoshi. Not sure yet, though; I'm sure it's someone else's turn to hold a party...
7) Who will you be with when 2005 ends?
8) Did you keep your new years resolution of 2005?
Some of them - such as meeting new people - yes. The rest most likely not.
9) Do you have a new years resolution for 2006?
Sort my head/life/future/problems out. Meet Katie. Move in with Paul, hopefully...
10) Did you fall in love in 2005?
Yeees. Twice. Though the first one was confusing and arghish.
11) If yes, with who?
12) If yes, do they know?
I would hope so by now.
13) Are you still in love with them?
With regards to the first one, no. I figured out what it really meant. As to the second - well, obviously.
14) Do you regret it?
Not in the slightest. We learn from such things.
15) Did you breakup with anyone in 2005?
I think it was at Christmas the year before, so no. I threatened to break up with Paul at least once, but I was having a very very black day.
16) Did you make any new friends in 2005?
OMG yes. Mostly through the forum.
17) Who are your favourite new friends?
Elle, Laura, Skippy, Tommy... so many. Some I know better than others.
18) What was your favourite month of 2005?
Tricky one. February will always be synonymous with the Eni-weekend, but I really did enjoy May and June, when Paul and I were first going out and everything was new and exciting. Which isn't to say I didn't enjoy the months afterwards, but, I don't know, the entire summer just seemed perpetually sunny for that.
19) Did you travel outside of the UK in 2005?
20) How many different states did you travel to in 2005?
No states. A couple of cities: Manchester, London... that's about it, actually. Will be going to Essex on Saturday.
21) Did you lose anybody close to you in 2005?
Not as far as I remember. I effectively cut off communication with my father, but that doesn't really count.
22) Did you miss anybody in the past year?
sweeterthing, last_dance and ennixeve, mostly, because I haven't been on messengers as much as before... hardly at all, in fact.
23) What was your favourite movie that you saw in 2005?
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, natch. ;) At the cinema, anyway. I've seen far too many others to keep track.
24) What was your favourite song from 2005?
No idea... there were lots.
25) What was your favourite album from 2005?
Katie Melua, Piece By Piece, but that's really the only one I distinctly remember buying... though I'm absolutely certain there must've been more than that.
26) How many concerts did you see in 2005?
Plenty of Capones gigs... about four, I think, plus the Paddingtons and butterflyburn's band, Sinistra. But substituting concerts for musicals, a lot more: Saturday Night Fever, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and Chicago in London in January; Derek Acorah in February (okay, okay, shhhh); Starlight Express at the Hippodrome in August; Phantom of the Opera in London in October; My Fair Lady on Saturday. It seems like there should have been more than that... oh, and lots of drag cabaret. :)
27) Did you have a favourite concert in 2005?
Phantom was pretty cool...
28) Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2005?
More than usual. I've been going out more. With a drunkard.
29) Did you do a lot of drugs in 2005?
No. Well, maybe. Only the legal kind because of my stupid frelling body.
30) How many people did you sleep with in 2005?
31) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
Probably. A few ultimatums.
32) What was the biggest lie you told in 2005?
Er... I told my father I was 'busy for the foreseeable future' because I was too much of a coward to tell him I didn't want to see him any more.
33) What was the worst lie someone told you in 2005?
I don't remember...
34) Did you treat somebody badly in 2005?
35) Did somebody treat you badly in 2005?
Birmingham City Council, you suck.
36) How much money did you spend in 2005?
Far too much.
38) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2005?
After the forum bannage, when I went back upstairs and burst into tears at my desk, not because I was upset but because I was just so fucking angry about the whole thing.
39) If you could go back in time to any moment of 2005 and change it, what would it be?
I don't know... I suppose the one thing would be to tell that other person how I was feeling (since, at the time, I didn't know what was happening) to see what might have come of it. More morbid curiosity than anything else, but I doubt I actually would, as I am perpetually a coward.
40) What are your plans for 2006?
Sort out brain. Sort out life. Sort out finances. Sort out future. Break elastic band.
I had a dream last night that I forgot to put in the post I didn't bring home with me... I was going to put it under the filter, but I wanted to share it with everyone. I very rarely have nightmares (or, well, not by my standards; I think other people would be scared out of their wits by my dreams), especially ones where the fear lingers into consciousness, so that's why I want to share this one...
I'm pretty sure I've dreamt about the same thing before, but I'm never entirely certain, when that happens, if I really have, or if my subconscious is lying to me about the fact that it's familiar... it's a very odd sensation, as in the dream I'm absolutely certain I've dreamt it before, whereas when I wake up I can't remember dreaming about it at any other time. The human brain is a very bizarre thing, that's for damn sure.
Anyway, I was dreaming that I was being followed by a hit-woman, who was out for blood and on my tail. I think it had something to do with my mobile phone, but that's a little blurry. In any case, she was a mixed race woman who looked a bit like that actress out of Bugs with the gap in her teeth... Amanda Griffin? Her. She was dressed all in black and had a gun, and her mission was to kill me.
I don't remember any of the plot, per se, just the very end of it. I'd gone into some building or other - I think it was a library or some kind of public building - and gone up some stairs to the first floor... there was a mauve-coloured carpet in there, and big windows at the front that left the first two floors open to daylight. I think the first floor was only half a floor, as well, more like a balcony. I was talking to a man at a hatch on the first floor, asking something about tracing calls my mobile had made... possibly just in case the hit-woman was trying to find me that way. The man confirmed that my phonecalls couldn't be traced.
I seem to recall I'd been running away from her for a while and had hopped a bus or some such to get away, so by the time I'd got to this building I was frantic but apparently a few miles ahead of her... although there was a definite atmosphere of foreboding, and I knew I didn't have much time... although what I was supposed to do, I have no idea. After finding out that my phonecalls were untraceable (this was definitely important...), I was feeling a bit more relaxed and started wandering around the first floor of the building. It was lit very artistically and 'darkly', with wall lights rather than overhead strip lights. To the left of the information hatch was a little corridor that led around the back of it, where there was apparently an arcade with a couple of people playing games. Maybe it was a hotel? I don't know. Weird. Back towards the hatch, the area leading up to (where people queued) was the 'half'-floor/balcony area. I think there was a lift next to the hatch as well, but that's a bit blurry.
I was standing on the balcony looking out of the front windows, taking a breather.
When I heard a very distinct "Boo", turned around, and found her behind me.
Which is the exact moment I woke up, with Paul breathing weirdly in his sleep and making a noise something akin to "Boo" (which sounded more like "phoo") right behind my head. I woke up in cold terror with my heart pounding. It was terrifying, and I couldn't get back to sleep for about 15 minutes afterwards until my heartrate had calmed down, and I couldn't turn over because then my back would've been exposed to the elements, and that freaks me out at the best of times. It's why I have to sit in the middle of people rather than on the end, or against the wall in restaurants; I hate having any side of me vulnerable.
Completely irrational, I know, and it's probably not even remotely scary in the description, but Jesus...
I hate dreams like that, where I can't escape. I also hate dreams where the negative feeling of fear/foreboding/sadness/whatever lingers into consciousness, especially when I'm dragged suddenly into alertness by some external force that exactly coincides with what's going on in my head, because it just freaks me out. How does my brain know what's coming enough to play the dream out so it matches? It's really freaky. It's happened a few times. I remember dreaming about a bizarre version of teletext that read things out to you in song, and it turned out to be my radio going off; there was the one where my mother and I were servants to a Beast (as in Beauty... only not as nice) who rang a slow, two-tone bell to get our attention... and the bell turned out to be the alarm of one of those little hand-held computer games from the 80s, which played Fur Elise in tinny MIDI form. That one bloody terrified me as well, as I recall, as I'd managed to set the alarm for something like 3.47am and couldn't change it back.
So, yeah. Scary.
Right, I have to go buy stuff off Amazon now.