It's "Stay Away From Seattle Day", minions, so for all of you NOT in Seattle: good job. Have some cake.
And for you Seattle-ites: maybe try not to annoy the people who make up weird holidays. (Unless this a benefit, so you get a day free from tourists?)
Anyhoo, much like staying away from Seattle, today's cake orders were almost ridiculously easy.
First there's Kristen, who asked for a simple "Ezra is 3!" on her son's cake. Just like staying away from Seattle, a simple requirement that only leads to confusion:
Hmm. Better take it from the top, Kristen.
Then there are the people in St. Paul, who wanted cupcakes to celebrate their city. That's all, just a little good old-fashioned pride in where they live, all the great things you can do and get there...
Oh. Oh, dear.
And finally, Melissa had the lowest bar yet: just a simple birthday cookie. What kind of decorations? Oh, you know, she said. "Just anything to match."
Thanks to Kristen S. Sweet P., & Melissa B. for the reminder that nothing is easy if you try hard enough.
P.S. This one goes out to all you folks in St. Paul:
Yesterday I was thinking about that time we met Karen Prell and Brian Henson, which was beyond amazing. I say this both to brag (WE MET KAREN PRELL AND BRIAN HENSON YOU GUYS) and to explain why I have Muppets on the brain.
(Btw, "Muppets On The Brain" is the name of my Lady Gaga cover band.)
So. Please to enjoy this Muppet-themed sing-along.
If British Bake-Off taught me anything, it's that chocolate collars are nearly impossible to do well. So, dang. Plus this design is fantastic with the cake peeking through, love the different texture underneath.
And finally, let's end our ode to chocolate with a little drama.
No, scratch that.
Let's end our ode to chocolate with ALL the drama:
This smells exactly like hot chocolate, not artificial at all, and it's strong enough that you only need one to fill your house with a delicious chocolate-and-mini-marshmallows smell. We used this during our last two Christmas parties, and have to keep buying more since John would burn it every night if he could, haha. It's nice to know we can get one on Amazon now, in case B&BW doesn't have more in stock this year.
I know I just talked about zebras last week, minions - or rather, the abject hatred wreckerators have for zebras, which prevents them from ever looking at zebras before they make zebra-striped cakes - but it turns out last week was only the tip of the icing 'berg.
Now, I know what you're thinking: "SURELY it can't be that hard for this many bakers to make simple zebra stripes."
To which I say:
And don't call me Shirley.
Now, BE BEHELD!
See, because it's looking at you?
Janine here really lucked out, though she didn't know it at the time. See, she also ordered a zebra print cake, but the baker misunderstood. So instead, she got this:
Aha! So THIS is the answer, everybody: just start ordering actual ZEBRA cakes. Go, quick! Before Wreckerators catch on!
Oh, wait. Hang on...
Too late. Sorry, Jannae. We hope you enjoyed your... sock puppet?
Thanks to Julia S., Beth M., Melissa M., Stephanie, Janine B., & Jannae for keeping this issue black-and-white. *****
Wrecky minion Laura ordered this design for her son's birthday:
...but there must have been a mixup, because instead of trees and pavement, Laura ended up with the rare Mad Mouse, Fury Road color scheme:
"OH BOY! WITNESS ME! HO HO!"
Laura tells me her first hint that something was off was the box with her name on it:
Her name is Laura Rio. [wincing] Oooh. Sorry, Ruwa.
Guess what this next one is:
Hint: It's not a cake. It's a lesson in font selection.
When only Velveeta and the squirty bottle of Dijon mustard will do:
Ahh, I can just see the birthday's girl's face now.
Best keep that serving knife away.
And finally, you wrecky old-timers no doubt remember the original Word Journey, but I submit that this one - dare I say it? - is even better:
Seriously, there are new delights at every turn here. It's a Word Journey with no traffic, your favorite mix tape of boy bands, and every gas station stocked with hot Krispy Kremes and no people in them.
(No people in the gas stations, I mean.)
(Though obviously it's a good thing when Krispy Kremes don't have people in them, either.)
(To be clear, I'm NOT saying Krispy Kremes ever have/had people in them, so don't go spreading that around.)
(I... I'm going to get sued, aren't I.)
Thanks to Laura R., Melyssa C., Sara V., & Brooke W. for all the impending Soylent Green jokes. BRING 'EM ON, PEOPLE.
Anyone else have fond memories of your school's lab? The eye-wash stations against the back wall, the shelves of beakers and bunson burners, that funky burnt smell that never quite went away?
Ahh, good times.
So today we're celebrating all the fun parts of Lab, and pretending the unfortunate frog thing never happened. I'm delighted to find science-themed birthday parties are surprisingly popular - and it's easy to see why with cakes like this:
And just think: for all these parties you could give the guests lab coats and perform candy "experiments". Or add a Halloween twist and throw in some Frankenstein decor and a "pin the arm on the monster" game, ha.
(Dangit, now I want to throw a Halloween party!)
Not that science is just for kids, of course. I mean, after a while science-loving kids grow up, and then some of them want to get married, and have wedding cakes like THIS:
I'm not 100% sure this is a wedding cake, but if you throw in some vows about being made for each other, it could totally work.
And finally, you know I'm going to end with something rainbow, right? Rainbows are one of the first things to get me interested in science - I wrote a report about them in second grade - so really, it's elementary:
I hope these made you smile, gang, and reminds you to appreciate all the wonders around you this week. Or to perform tasty experiments in your kitchen. :D
P.S. One of my favorite things about researching today's Sweets was seeing how many were made for girls! Not to pull the age card or anything, but there was a time when we ladies weren't as encouraged to love science and technology, so seeing our future generations embrace the things they love makes me so darn happy.
Speaking of, if you know any science-loving kids, then they might also love this book:
So tell me, minions, what wonderful memories have YOU made this summer?
Oh, c'mon. Surely you did SOMETHING fun.
Like your birthday! Remember that?
Ah. Right. Hey, someday you might look back on your single-serve toilet paper "quarateen" cake and laugh and laugh.
Besides, while we've all had our ups and downs this year, some of us have had a GREAT time:
Joe and Terry, for example.
Also my definition of "great time" is on a sliding scale for 2020.
I think the take-away here is that we should celebrate the little things, the little moments. Like the one when your job orders a cake with a dinosaur on it wearing a mask, and you get to put THIS in the break room:
See, that's making some memories, right there.
Thanks to Elizabeth W., Thomas S., Anony M., & Tonya R. for the, um, dino-mite.
P.S. Speaking of memorable moments, I just found the perfect thing to bring this whole post together: